Welcome to our collection of insightful and witty quotes by Wilson Mizner, a renowned American playwright, entrepreneur, and bon vivant of the early 20th century. Mizner’s sharp wit and keen observations on life, love, and human nature have left an indelible mark on literature and popular culture. Born in 1876, Mizner’s colorful life journey took him from the bustling streets of New York City to the glamorous allure of Hollywood, where he rubbed shoulders with some of the era’s most prominent figures.
As a playwright, Mizner penned several successful works that captivated audiences with their wit and charm, earning him a reputation as a master of the theatrical craft. Beyond the stage, he ventured into various entrepreneurial pursuits, including real estate and gambling, often with mixed results but always with an unyielding spirit and a knack for storytelling. Mizner’s unique blend of humor, cynicism, and wisdom continues to resonate with audiences today, reminding us of the timeless truths hidden within life’s complexities. Below, you’ll find a curated selection of Wilson Mizner’s most memorable quotes, ready to inspire, provoke thought, and perhaps even elicit a chuckle or two.
I’d rather know a square guy than own a square mile. Wilson Mizner
There is something about a closet that makes a skeleton terribly restless. Wilson Mizner
I’ve had ample contact with lawyers, and I’m convinced that the only fortune they ever leave is their own. Wilson Mizner
If you steal from one author it’s plagiarism; if you steal from many it’s research. Wilson Mizner
The first hundred years are the hardest. Wilson Mizner
A drama critic is a person who surprises the playwright by informing him what he meant. Wilson Mizner
A fellow who is always declaring he’s no fool usually has his suspicions. Wilson Mizner
A slave has but one master. An ambition man, has as many as there are people who helped him get his fortune. Wilson Mizner
Popularity is exhausting. The life of the party almost always winds up in a corner with an overcoat over him. Wilson Mizner
Hollywood is a sewer with service from the Ritz Carlton. Wilson Mizner
The cuckoo who is on to himself is halfway out of the clock. Wilson Mizner
I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education. Wilson Mizner
Be nice to people on your way up because you’ll meet them on your way down. Wilson Mizner
I know of no sentence that can induce such immediate and brazen lying as the one that begins, ‘Have you read – .’ Wilson Mizner
If you count all your assets you always show a profit. Wilson Mizner
It is not in life, but in art that self-fulfillment is to be found. Wilson Mizner
Do not be desirous of having things done quickly. Do not look at small advantages. Desire to have things done quickly prevents their being done thoroughly. Looking at small advantages prevents great affairs from being accomplished. Wilson Mizner
All anger is not sinful, because some degree of it, and on some occasions, is inevitable. But it becomes sinful and contradicts the rule of Scripture when it is conceived upon slight and inadequate provocation, and when it continues long. Wilson Mizner
Art is science made clear. Wilson Mizner
A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while, he knows something. Wilson Mizner
I’ve spent several years in Hollywood, and I still think the movie heroes are in the audience. Wilson Mizner
To profit from good advice requires more wisdom than to give it. Wilson Mizner
The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away. Wilson Mizner
Life’s a tough proposition, and the first hundred years are the hardest. Wilson Mizner
I hate careless flattery, the kind that exhausts you in your efforts to believe it. Wilson Mizner
Failure has gone to his head. Wilson Mizner
Don’t talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave. Wilson Mizner
The difference between chirping out of turn and a faux pas depends on what kind of a bar you’re in. Wilson Mizner
Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something. Wilson Mizner
I can usually judge a fellow by what he laughs at. Wilson Mizner
The most efficient water power in the world – women’s tears. Wilson Mizner
Most hard-boiled people are half-baked. Wilson Mizner
To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady. Wilson Mizner
You sparkle with larceny. Wilson Mizner
In the battle of existence, Talent is the punch; Tact is the clever footwork. Wilson Mizner
Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up. Wilson Mizner
