Welcome to our collection of hilarious and insightful comedian quotes! Comedy has a unique way of dissecting the complexities of life with wit and humor, offering us a fresh perspective on the mundane and the profound. From stand-up routines to comedic films, comedians have the uncanny ability to tap into the quirks of human nature, delivering punchlines that resonate with audiences worldwide.
Whether you’re in need of a good laugh or seeking some light-hearted wisdom, you’ll find plenty of gems from the comedic world here. These quotes range from observations about everyday absurdities to poignant reflections on the human condition. Prepare to chuckle, ponder, and perhaps even snort with laughter as you peruse the wit and wisdom of some of the funniest minds in entertainment.
Below, you’ll find a treasure trove of quotes from comedians spanning various generations and styles. Feel free to copy them, pair them with images, or experiment with stylish fonts to enhance their comedic impact. Let the laughter begin!
I’m glad I’m a comedian. Otherwise, my life would just be a series of undocumented low points. Kyle Kinane
A hero has to become a comedian to do a comic role but a comedian does not have to do anything. People laugh at him anyway. Even when I attend funerals, people look at my face and laugh. Johnny Lever
I live in South Africa. I’m proud to live there. I’ve always said I want to be a comedian from South Africa in the world. I will stay in places for a bit here and there and pop into New York for a while, maybe stay in London for a year, but my home will always be South Africa. I enjoy it too much. Trevor Noah
Bill Cosby was the first comedian I was exposed to, because he doesn’t curse. Chris Rock
I was just a young guy who was excited to become a comedian and an actor and I just wanted to get to do what I got to do. Adam Sandler
I would say the more significant factor of my starting late is that I developed a sufficiently thick skin to be able to – just about – handle the knocks that a fledgling comedian takes. Greg Davies
I wanted to be a comedian, and this is what I’m doing. If I can keep this going, I’m happy. Gabriel Iglesias
The nice thing about anger is that, as an emotion, it’s strong enough to unplug me from the comedian’s mind for a minute and just be a frustrated member of the citizenry. Seth Meyers
I admit I do have some drawbacks and limitations as a candidate. Although I am a professional comedian, some of my critics maintain that this is not enough. I cannot deny that I stand before you untested and inexperienced – I only spent two years in television, never as a romantic lead or a song and dance man. Pat Paulsen
When I started, you didn’t make a lot of money by being a comedian. You didn’t get a lot of respect. David Steinberg
When it comes to English stand-up comedy, Indians have only seen the best – Jerry Seinfeld, Bill Cosby and the like. So, when someone claims to be an English stand-up comedian in India, he’d better be very good if he’s going to make a life of it. Vir Das
You never have a comedian who hasn’t got a very deep strain of sadness within him or her. Every great clown has been very near to tragedy. Margaret Rutherford
I got my first television at Stanford when I was 20, and I used to watch ‘The Dick Van Dyke Show’. He played my father on ‘Becker,’ and he’s still one of my heroes. Along with John Cleese, he’s my favourite physical comedian. Ted Danson
A comedian sees the world bent. I’m tangent to the circle. Buddy Hackett
I’m not very big on politics. I’m a comedian and not that smart. I don’t have the mind capacity for it. Bobby Moynihan
Karaoke isn’t fair when you’re a comedian. The whole idea is to get people laughing and enjoying themselves, and I’m a professional funny guy. Chris Rock
I didn’t tell any of my friends that I wanted to be a comedian, because I was superstitious. I thought if I told people, it wouldn’t happen. So I kept it all in my head for years and years. Steven Wright
No comedian’s wife thinks he’s funny. The first few years of the marriage, maybe. I was funny as hell the first couple of years. Tom Smothers
There’s a difference between being a comic and a comedian. A comic is a guy who says funny things, and a comedian is a guy who says things funny, and he has a style and point of view that will last much longer. Milton Berle
I’m a comedian who got into movies, so I don’t really think of myself as an actor. Eddie Murphy
To me, seeing a really great comedian is a bit like watching a musician or a poet. Dick Gregory
We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion. Fred Allen
John was the smartest and most amazing comedian I’ve ever worked with. I think more than teaching me about acting or comedy, he taught me about life and the love of people and respect of people. Kaley Cuoco
A plumber doesn’t change the way he plumbs when he has a kid. You’re a comedian. This is your style. Bill Burr
Any of Bette Midler’s concerts should be required viewing for every actor/performer. She has the audience in the palm of her hands at all times and can switch emotions on a dime: Great singer, great actress, great comedian – fearless. Bryan Batt
I was born with the confidence of an 89-year-old man. So it’s strange when people ask, ‘What’s it like being a female comedian?’ It never occurred to me that I’d be limited as a woman – that I couldn’t be a scientist, a doctor, or anything I wanted. Katherine Ryan
Ego is hilarious – especially the vanity of a comedian. As soon as you see one start worrying about how cool he is or about how many stadiums he can fill, he stops being funny. Ricky Gervais
I didn’t want to be a comedian. Brian Quinn
I’m not a comedian. I’m an actor who just happens to be funny on occasion. Anthony Anderson
The only time I get sick of making people laugh is when I’m in a non-writing-joke mode, and I just can’t seem to come up with anything new that’s funny. That’s a tough place to be as a comedian. Bill Burr
If a comedian tells a joke that you find funny, you laugh. If he tells a joke you do not find funny, don’t laugh. Or you could possibly go as far as groaning or rolling your eyes. Then you wait for his next joke; if that’s funny, then you laugh. If it’s not, you don’t laugh – or at very worst, you can leave quietly. Gilbert Gottfried
That is the job of a comedian: To take unpleasant subject matter and forcibly, with his hands, wring the funny out of it. Katt Williams
As a comedian, you want people to like you. That’s part of why you’re there in the first place: You have this unquenchable need to be liked, and then when you divert from that and take a chance at doing something that has moments of fierce unlikeability, you can hit some real low points. Mike Birbiglia
Just like a comedian has a certain joke or a jazz musician has a riff that they know will get the crowd, a tap dancer always has a step. Savion Glover
I’ve been a stand-up comedian for years, and I can be silly. Diane Neal
I’m a comedian, and the other comedians are played by comedians, the same way that in ‘Once’ there are the musicians that hang out together. Mike Birbiglia
I think you’re a comedian as soon as you start. I don’t think there’s a moment where you become a full comic. Ari Shaffir
To be honest with you, when I got into this I never thought about reviews. I never thought about what people would say about me. I was just a young guy who was excited to become a comedian and an actor and I just wanted to get to do what I got to do. Adam Sandler
I owe my whole acting career to the fact that I’m a singer. I went out to Los Angeles and auditioned for a TV show called ‘Fame L.A.’ The original role was for a comedian, but they said I wasn’t very funny, so they asked me, ‘What else can you do?’ So I played a singer. Christian Kane
We were against the war in Vietnam and for voter registration and social issues. Everybody has their choices, and the obligation of a comedian is first to entertain. And if you’re so inclined, and you have some bigger thought, make sure you express it, because that’s a gift. Tom Smothers
I don’t think I’ve ever had a conversation with a comedian who stole except for when it’s been in anger. Matt Besser
Someone said to me at a party once, ‘Oh, yeah, you’re a comedian? Then how come you’re not funny now?’ And I just wanted to say, ‘Well, I’m just going to take this conversation we’re having and then repeat that to strangers, and then that’s the joke. You’re the joke later.’ Mike Birbiglia
I’m standing behind a wall of jokes. You don’t know about my personal life, my girlfriends, or what I do when I’m not on the road. There’s this guy, this comedian, and this is how he thinks, but people really don’t know anything about me. Steven Wright
When I was in high school I saw Steven Wright, a brilliant one-liner comedian, and I thought: ‘That’s what I should do; I should write one-liners.’ And I did. My first album is mostly one-liners. Mike Birbiglia
I started out as a stand-up comedian. And that’s what I’m most comfortable doing. Eddie Murphy
Too much comedy today is vulgar, not clever. I say that as a comedian and as a consumer. Mort Sahl
Whether you do stand-up comedy or write a story, you have a duty to deliver. As a comedian, you walk out on stage, and you have a minute to hook them, or they’ll start booing. As a writer, it’s very similar. A reader doesn’t have time to say, ‘I’ll give him 50 pages, as it’s not very good yet, but I hope it’ll get better.’ Mark Billingham
I don’t know any comedian who tailors his act to his audience. Maybe people say they do, but I can’t even imagine them. Colin Quinn
Many old music hall fans were present at the funeral today of Fred ‘Chuckles’ Jenkins, Britain’s oldest and unfunniest comedian. In tribute, the vicar read out one of Fred’s jokes, and the congregation had two minutes silence. Ronnie Barker
What makes a comedian has nothing to do with religion. Think of Red Skelton, Jimmy Durante, Jackie Gleason, who were all Catholics. Buddy Hackett
I’m not a comedian, but I do make people laugh. I’m good at it. Miriam Margolyes
I’ve been a comedian since I was fourteen. But I’ve never really been a CEO. Dave Chappelle
I became a dancer in self-defense. I was doing a comedy monologue and didn’t know how else to get off, so I danced off. I’ve been dancing ever since, but I’m still a comedian. Ray Bolger
I’m in this for the long haul, I want to be doing this until I die. I am a standup comedian. I know a lot of people say I’m not, but I am. Stewart Lee
I’m a liberal arts comedian and the definition of liberal arts is all spheres of human knowledge, coexisting, mixing and influencing each other. Adam Conover
I was so depressed for so many years over trying to become a working comedian that my sense of self-worth would plummet. Bob Saget
Fame is an upshot of what I do. If you’re a successful comedian or actor, then you’re a famous one. But it’s not the driving force. It’s a by-product. Ricky Gervais
I want to have fun. Life ain’t no dress rehearsal. I want to have fun. I’m a comedian; I ain’t no politician. So everything I do is with humor, with love. Bernie Mac
You have to be delusional to be a comedian. Mike Birbiglia
My only goal as a comedian was to stomp the life out of the model-minority myth. Eddie Huang
I’m not a confrontational person or comedian. I think we can explore more things if one of us is not fighting with the other. I take it easy. But I do like comedians who are very different from myself: I love dry comics with deadpan one-liners. I look on and think, ‘That’s amazing; why didn’t I think of that?’ Trevor Noah
In my heart, I believe I’m a top flight comedian and a top flight rapper. Lil Dicky
I got booed off the stage one time. This was in a University in Florida. The students didn’t know that I had to come back out 6 more times, because I was hosting the show. They just thought that I was a comedian opening the show. Theo Von
You have two choices, two paths to take as a comedian. You can tackle the difficult subjects and be harsh about it, be brash, be abrasive. But adding hatred to racism is not going to help everybody. So I like to have fun around it. Trevor Noah
Nobody is a professional comedian for the first five, six years they’re doing it. Taylor Tomlinson
Even as a little child, I’ve always had that comedian kind of attitude. Etta James
I’m a very observational type of comedian that points out everyday absurdities. Sebastian Maniscalco
The pressure to being a comedian is being funny, but I’ve given that up, so there is no pressure whatsoever. Gilbert Gottfried
Almost every college playwright or sketch or improv comedian was sort of aware of Christopher Durang – even kids in high school. His short plays were so accessible to younger people and I think that was inspirational to me. Mindy Kaling
I believe that any type of education can be great, but an education about ourselves can create something wonderful. I am a comedian, but people have called me a motivational speaker. I don’t really consider myself that at all. Andy Andrews
I like the ironic pomposity of a stand-up comedian. Like all those comedians thinking they can bring down Coca-Cola. They forget to be funny. Ricky Gervais
There is a very difficult period in a comedian’s career – it’s that window of time where you’re good enough to draw tickets but nobody knows you yet. Bill Burr
I’m actually a big fan of Kathy Griffin because I think she’s really funny. I think she’s really self-deprecating, which is something I like to see in a comedian. I think those are really the best comedians: people who can make fun of themselves. Chelsea Handler
I was the Head Boy of East High School in 1999. I represent 303 – the area code, not the band – Mile High, until I die. I’m 31, a comedian; I juggle, but I don’t glove it. I think waxed mustaches run a very thin line between hipster and 1800s barkeep. T. J. Miller
Every hairstyle I have is funny because my barber is a standup comedian by the slightly unfortunate name of Paul Sweeney. His cuts are fantastic but the chats are even better. Joe Lycett
I don’t like it when I see a racist comedian go up and say, ‘What are we gonna do about all these immigrants?’ and they get a round the applause. I think, ‘Well that’s not a joke. That’s just your biased opinion.’ Ricky Gervais
When people laugh at me, they are not laughing in the way that they normally would at a comedian. They are laughing with relief, because the truth has been spoken, and political correctness has not strangled this particular gigastar. Barry Humphries
My favorite station is BBC Radio 6 Music, in particular Shaun Keaveny’s morning show. It’s on while I’m dashing around getting ready. He’s a comedian and really makes me laugh, and I love his choice of music – often bands I’ve never heard before. Charlotte Ritchie
I’m a comedian, which is the opposite of a lifestyle that equips you to be a parent. Jim Gaffigan
I love hecklers. They remind you that you are a comedian. Dane Cook
That’s the beauty of being a comedian – it’s the one job you’re allowed to do that. We’re lucky. We’re really lucky. Colin Quinn
Every comedian is furious. Age makes me angry. I’m unhappy at not being able to open packages anymore. I’m angry that libraries have gone. I hate children on planes. I’m very shallow, so they tend to be little things. To be honest, I think I was probably angry the day I was born, you know, about diapers or something. Joan Rivers
I think it’s a comedian’s job to make everything funny. Nothing is off-limits. Donald Glover
If the front-page news is a comedian doing a joke that people think is naughty, that proves there’s no real news that day, does it not? Russell Howard
If you became a comedian in the ’80s, you had to work the circuit and make people laugh. Canned laughter is cheating. Paul Merton
After I finished university, I was gigging as a comedian in London as well as temping for Morgan Stanley during the day. Nick Mohammed
I’m not just a pundit – I’m a comedian. Stephen Colbert
I’m a standup comedian who can’t drive. I have never learned. I don’t trust my hand-eye coordination. You’re looking at someone who once dropped a cricket ball on to his own head during a routine catching practice; I don’t think it’s a great idea to have me in control of a high-speed metal death robot. Nish Kumar
I went to college as an economics major because that was the easiest major that could still please your Asian parents, and then, much to their dismay, I became a stand-up comedian. Jimmy O. Yang
The only difference between a comedian and someone else? We need to make people laugh more. Greg Davies
There are so few jobs for comedians on networks, that taxi TV and elevator TV and all this stuff are what I and every other comedian now are gunning for. Scott Rogowsky
I wanted to be a comedian. Kelly Slater
I don’t perceive my role as a newsman at all. I’m a comedian from stem to stern. You can cut me open and count the rings of jokes. Stephen Colbert
You have to understand how bad I wanted to be a comedian, how much I loved doing it. I still can’t believe I get to do this for a living and have people come up and want to see me. Bill Burr
The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of once every fifteen seconds. Lenny Bruce
Anybody with a sharp brain and a mic can become a comedian, but there’s a need to move beyond it. The audience wants to witness the marriage of theatre, comedy and something more. Vir Das
When you start punishing and censoring comedians, that’s a real bad sign of us as Americans losing our First Amendment rights. As a comedian, I’m gonna push the boundaries. Some things you’re going to love, and some things you’re going to hate. But this is America. Great people died for us to have this right. Byron Allen
I didn’t plan to be the rude middle-class comedian. You write a certain type of joke that you find funny, and mine happen to be often rude. Yes, it’s juvenile, but that’s me. Jimmy Carr
I consider myself more of a visual comedian than a physical one. Rowan Atkinson
A good comedian can make serious political points while also having a giggle. Rosie Jones
