Welcome to our collection of Alan Carr quotes! Alan Carr is a British comedian, television presenter, and writer, known for his distinctive wit, humor, and infectious personality. Born in Weymouth, Dorset, Carr rose to fame with his breakthrough show Alan Carr: Chatty Man, where he showcased his comedic talents through engaging interviews and hilarious sketches.
Throughout his career, Alan Carr has offered insights into life, love, and the quirks of human nature, often with a sharp comedic edge. His quotes are not only funny but also carry a profound sense of observation about the world around us. Whether he’s poking fun at everyday situations or offering words of wisdom wrapped in humor, Alan Carr’s quotes never fail to entertain and resonate with audiences.
Below, you’ll find a selection of Alan Carr’s most memorable and thought-provoking quotes. Feel free to copy them, pair them with images, or get creative with stylish fonts to add a touch of Carr’s charm to your day!
I do my own stunts. You see someone like Graham Norton would have had a stunt double, but no, I give 100 per cent to my viewers. Alan Carr
Children? No, no, no. I struggle with a red setter. Alan Carr
I don’t really like being a celebrity. Alan Carr
Girls don’t want to hang around boys talking about ‘The Golden Girls’. They want a boyfriend who turns up on a motorbike, don’t they? Alan Carr
My mum will never ask if I’m seeing anyone; I’m not that kind of person anyway. I’m very private. Alan Carr
Even if people threw tomatoes at me and booed me off stage, at least you can wash out tomatoes, unlike nine hours of abuse from the general public which can affect your mental health. Alan Carr
It’s dangerous when you start telling people they can’t have an opinion on something. And, you know, you don’t cancel someone, you engage with someone. Alan Carr
Nostalgia is so powerful, and it was such an odd year, 2020. Alan Carr
I’ve already brought enough shame on the family without halting the family tree. Alan Carr
I think familiarity breeds contempt. I mean, we’ll never get another Greta Garbo will we? Someone would go in with a camera Sellotaped to the bottom of a tray trying to get film of her with no make-up on. Alan Carr
Everyone was a footballer in my family. My grandfather Wilf played for Newcastle and my cousins play. It’s in the blood. Alan Carr
It seems the older I get, I hear about cancer more and more but not to get too totally depressed about it all – on a positive note you do hear about people surviving it more – thanks to the fantastic work done by the Stand Up To Cancer campaign. Alan Carr
But there’s something delightfully old-school about sitting in the BBC – obviously wearing a bow tie and monocle – with a co-presenter who forgets there’s a webcam in there. It’s also nice to hear from the general public when they’re not swearing at you or asking to extend their credit limit. Alan Carr
You survive cancer but you have still got the emotional baggage. Alan Carr
Suggesting that just because someone who is on the telly has a superior moral viewpoint to someone who say, shelf stacks at Aldi is ridiculous. Alan Carr
To get your own chatshow, with your name in the title, my arena tour last year – that was another goal for me – I got my own radio show, again with my name in the title… Apart from rehab, there isn’t really much on my to-do list! Alan Carr
I know David Walliams did ‘Blankety Blank’, and when he did that I was so jealous. I would have loved to have done that. It’s sort of my sense of humour. Alan Carr
Let’s be honest, you’re very selfish in your twenties, and in your thirties you are just trying to get a down payment for your flat or enough money to pay your bills. Alan Carr
At school people laughed at me, not with me. Alan Carr
How can you explain to Americans who Kim Woodburn is? It’s just nice, for once in my life, to not be the campest one in the room. Alan Carr
Explaining ‘The Price Is Right’ is probably going to make it sound like the most moronic show ever. I invite people out of the audience to guess the price of a series of household objects. Alan Carr
I love a bit of ‘Tipping Point’; I sit there and sometimes the dog starts watching it. It’s just like the going in and out and the coins falling, it can be quite trance-like. Alan Carr
I was such a worrier at school. I wish I could go back and tell myself to stop stressing. Alan Carr
I’m not that good at knowing the price of things. Not because I live in a celebrity bubble, but just because I’ve always been rubbish at stuff like that. Alan Carr
With Stand Up To Cancer, every penny goes to Cancer Research UK. You are playing with people’s lives. I knew I needed to get as much money as possible. Alan Carr
I’m a comedian. I can’t get a spray tan. I can’t get a weave. I can’t get my teeth done. Can you imagine if I came out on stage looking really hunky? Comedy doesn’t work like that. Alan Carr
I think TV in general is camp. ‘X Factor’ is camp, ‘Strictly Come Dancing’ is camp. Basically, an orange man comes down some stairs and waves at the camera. People are drawn to that. Alan Carr
I’m old school, when I go on stage, I want every single person in that theatre to have the time of their life. I don’t want to upset someone on their night off when they’ve been working all week. Alan Carr
A fortune-teller said my future lay in comedy. Alan Carr
Doing stand up helps – thinking on your feet definitely comes in handy when it’s a live show. Alan Carr
It sounds like I work at Hallmark, but every day is a journey and you get better and that’s the whole point of life. Alan Carr
I love that I’m approachable. All kinds of people come up to me. Alan Carr
There’s a reason ‘The Price Is Right’ is on in every country in the world. It’s simple, and people want to know the price of things. Plus we give away brilliant prizes. Alan Carr
I’m a little bit naughty, not too rude and a little bit saucy. That’s what I love about Chatty Man – I can just be that on my own show. Alan Carr
I didn’t want a ghost writer. I’ve got such a distinctive voice, people would smell a rat, I think. Alan Carr
I mean, I see the old interviews with Bette Davis or Joan Crawford, these characters clawed their way up – what stories. Alan Carr
I mean, seeing 10 very talented interior designers is not hard work – it’s an absolute joy. Alan Carr
Drag queens in the UK, they survive it all – there’s a hen party, a stag party, people throwing beer bottles. They work not on their heels, but on their wits. Alan Carr
I think I have got a lot better as an interviewer. I let people talk now which is something you need to do. At the beginning I thought jokes, jokes, jokes, I am a stand up comedian but I think I have mellowed out now. Alan Carr
When things finish, you think, ‘It’s over’ but you realise sometimes, it’s just the beginning of something else. Alan Carr
I don’t like the attention that comes with TV. Alan Carr
I love the buzz of doing live. I am a stand-up comedian and so I am not scared of live. Alan Carr
Basically, I thought I had nothing to lose so I’d try my luck as a stand-up comedian. So even if it all failed, I was at the bottom of the food-chain anyway. Alan Carr
I’m just a comedian. That’s all I am. If you find me funny, good. Alan Carr
I don’t want to patronise my audience. Alan Carr
Obviously there are a lot of charities out there but with cancer you have to be lucky to have not been affected by it or not know anybody who has had it. Alan Carr
